Weighted Wedding

The day I got my wedding photos back, I cried. Not out of sheer wedded bliss, but because I hated them.

The photographer was amazing and took great photos. I loved her work and I loved the work she did on our wedding photos, but still, the photos made me cringe. This was a time to be happy and delighted, full of excitement as I relived the ‘best day ever’, or so the story goes. Except, I couldn’t help but feel extremely let down.

Why?

Because I thought I looked fat.

Yep. That old ditty.

For years, I’ve been the skinny athletic one, never having to worry about counting calories or making sure I hit the gym enough times in the week, because I did. I worked out. A LOT. I was also younger and could eat whatever I wanted, drink whatever I wanted and get away with it. I walked a lot more than I do now because I simply had to. How are you going to get anywhere if you don’t have a car? Public transportation and your own two feet are your only options, especially when you’re on a part-time budget. I often look back on my days of yore with a yearning in my eyes for that lithe body that could fit into a size 10 or smaller — and still think I was fat, by the way — hoping that I could get there, that I could be young again and feel that way again.