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I Haven’t Been Able to Watch an Action Movie in Months
Blame Covid
A month back my husband and I hunkered down to watch an action movie. We hadn’t watched a movie in a good long while, as we’ve been too preoccupied with bingeing shows. I was excited as I love all things action. Then, a really horrible part came, and an animal got killed. Not in real life, of course, but my brain didn’t care. I had a full breakdown.
I became irrationally angry and went upstairs to try to cool down and maybe watch something that would give my brain all the good feels. My brain had a different idea as the tears streamed down my face, then turned into full-blown sobbing. I started pacing, feeling anxious and energetic. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop feeling bad for everything that has been going on lately, for everything that always goes on.
I cried until I was so exhausted I couldn’t pace anymore, I could barely think. Eventually, I sat down on the couch with my husband and we watched Friends for the 7 billionth time, while my body felt like it had been slammed into a truck. Eventually, I calmed down and felt well enough to go to bed, not as anxious as before, but my body now felt like an empty shell, a feeling that wouldn’t go away until I woke up the next morning and focused all of my attention on feel-good things.
